Thinking of going ‘no-contact’?

‘Going no-contact’ has gained a lot of traction in the media regarding the increase in young people making the choice to restrict their interactions with certain family members and peers. While there are many different opinions and critiques of this boundary setting method, it has also left some with questioning if it is a viable option for them. While cutting off connection completely might feel scary, it can be helpful to consider in certain circumstances. We wanted to help unblur the lines and increase empathy and understanding of when this might be a helpful option. 

1. Risk of Health and Safety

Sometimes this is harder than assumed and harmful situations aren’t always easy to step away from. We would encourage you to think about if this person has made you feel unsafe, threatened your well being (even if a loose threat), or engaged in harassment that has made you feel anxious or scared. Regardless if the individual apologizes, restricting contact both verbally and physically can help with safety and crisis planning. Remember to seek support as well to help prevent isolation. 

2. Continual Dismissal of Boundaries

If someone continues to cross boundaries that were clearly communicated, it may be time to disconnect from them. Boundaries are what we set in order to help a relationship be the healthiest it can be. When someone continues to ignore them, it can add continued stress and strain to the relationship. Going no contact is a way to regain autonomy and lean into relationships that prioritize respect for one another. 

3. You’re Tired of Trying

If you have put in effort to make the relationship work and still feel unsatisfied, that may be a sign that it is time to part ways. Try to remember that not everyone is meant to be in each other’s lives. Remember that if something isn’t working, having space from it also means you regain some time, effort, and energy for yourself. 

If you aren’t ready for complete disconnection, we empathize with you. We know that situations aren’t black and white, so here are some steps to consider leaning into the grey. 

1. Try reducing contact

If disconnecting completely isn’t the vibe, try decreasing contact. What once felt obligatory might now feel optional. 

2. Establish a Goal

Think about what you want the relationship to look like. What boundaries might you need? How will you express your needs? How can you ask for space?

3. Seek Mutual Understanding and Collaboration

While it might be intimidating to ask for our need to be met, it might also be the thing that is needed to find a space where both parties feel comfortable and connected. Remember the goal is to be willing to give and take in order to find a new path forward. 

While going ‘no-contact’ might be scary, we are all entitled to apply it when needed. Regardless if it is temporary or long-term, reducing contact can provide space, clarity, and safety. 

The information on this website is not intended to diagnose or treat any medical or psychological condition and is not a substitute for therapy. If you are experiencing an emergency please call/text 988 or go to your nearest emergency room.