How to Break a Cycle of Body Shame

As we head into the summer, there can be a higher preoccupation with bodies. This can come from being in a bathing suit, being around more peers, and a higher discomfort regarding the heat. While our awareness of our bodies and its functions increases, there can also be a heightened sense of shame regarding our bodies that accompanies the awareness. This can be quite triggering for those who have a history of eating disorders, body dysmorphia, or trauma that roots in fatphobia. While some of these thoughts and feelings perk up automatically, we thought it would be important to highlight ways to combat these thoughts and break the cycle of body shame to help you feel competent and confident. 

1. Try to exist in neutrality: first, try to notice if you are not being neutral and are verging into territory that is critical or judgemental. We want to be careful not to lean into toxic positivity, but instead shift into a space that is focusing on how our body exists through what it does rather than how it looks. Try to reframe your thoughts! Take a pause when noticing yourself being harsh. Shifting from ‘I hate my belly’ to ‘my belly holds in my organs’ can be a helpful transition into functionality. Additionally, attempt to remove moral labels from food. ‘Good’ vs. ‘bad’. ‘Healthy’ vs. ‘unhealthy’. Try to see any food as fuel instead of using reward systems. 

2. Be mindful of your consumption of harmful messaging: right now, there is an influx of prioritizing emaciation as a standard of beauty that is extremely harmful. We would highly suggest incorporating diversity into the content that you consume that includes people of different sizes, races, abilities, and other spaces of intersectionality. The more we normalize the shrinking of bodies, the more we let that messaging thrive. In addition, it is helpful to speak up when you can if there are peers/family that tend to cross your boundaries when it comes to conversations about bodies. Try to seek inclusive spaces that thrive in neutrality and feel supportive of your body. 

3. Shift how you speak to others: little changes in this area can go a long way. Even when we speak highly of someone’s body, we are still drawing awareness to it. Try to, instead, comment/compliment someone’s individual choices that they have incorporated into their being. Someone’s style, approach to life, and decision making skills are more concrete things to acknowledge that have nothing to do with their bodies and are still highly complimentary. Also, try to be mindful of how you discuss others when they are not around. This even extends to celebrities or people that you don’t know. Remember, your words carry weight and impact regardless if they are aimed at the person you’re talking to, or someone else. 

4. Seeking professional support: we recommend seeking professional support when it feels like you would like to have a nonjudgemental space to discuss issues with your body that may feel tricky and sticky to share with others. Seeking out professional support allows you to enter different territories of this topic without fear of being shamed or minimized. It can be helpful to seek out someone who is a fat-positive/weight neutral therapist in order to feel safe and comfortable within sessions. 

While body-shame isn’t something that goes away immediately, it can be helpful to have a plan of how to seek out emotionally safe spaces for your body to exist as it is. Remember that all bodies are worthy of adequate care, empathy, and respect, from others as well as ourselves. 

The information on this website is not intended to diagnose or treat any medical or psychological condition and is not a substitute for therapy. If you are experiencing an emergency please call/text 988 or go to your nearest emergency room.