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Writer's pictureHannah M Conner, LCPC

How To Know If Your Therapist Is A Good Fit

Going to therapy is becoming more and more discussed as mental health advocacy begins to grow. There’s group therapy, individual, telehealth, in-person, and even therapy apps. There are several different types of therapy and specialties that can make choosing a therapist overwhelming. One thing that can be helpful instead of focusing on making the perfect choice is continuing to ask yourself ‘is this a good fit?’


man therapist in therapy with woman

You might be thinking, ‘How will I know if the fit is a good one?’ and that’s what we’re here to discuss. Here are some helpful ways to tell if the mental health provider you’re seeing is a helpful match and how to tell if they might not be. You’re the expert of what you’re thinking and feeling, see these tips as a guide vs. a written rule!


Do you feel supported?

This might take a couple of sessions to feel out. A therapist's primary goal is to provide a non-judgemental space where they can provide support and be helpful. What can sometimes make this challenging is we all have different preferences when it comes to what is supportive. What might feel supportive to some, doesn’t to others, and that’s okay. Support comes in many different shapes and sizes, so it might be helpful to think about what you deem as supportive and ask your therapist how they show support to their clients.


Are your boundaries being respected?

Contrary to popular belief, therapists aren’t there to force you to talk about anything that you don’t want to. If you have specific topics that you would like to wait to talk about or find it triggering to talk about, a therapist may try to find a way to make coping with these things easier, but shouldn’t be demanding that you tell them in order to attend sessions. Additionally, if you start talking about something and realize you're uncomfortable, your therapist should cater to that feeling vs. continue to focus on the details of what you’re saying. Remember, your therapist should be there to collaborate with you instead of telling you what to do. 


They ask for feedback and receive it well.

Therapists realize that they might not be the perfect fit for everyone and each client deserves an experience that is tailored to fit their needs. It is helpful when a provider lets you know that your feedback is welcomed, as this helps the two of you build towards goals in treatment. However, if you notice that your therapist isn’t receiving feedback well or isn’t applying the feedback that you provide, this might make the relationship strained. Remember, if this happens, it is much more about the provider than it is about you as the client. Therapists should be taking your thoughts, feelings, and insights of yourself into consideration, not rejecting them.  


Are your values aligned?

It can be challenging to go into a situation that is very one sided intentionally. Traditional therapists are usually depicted as being emotionless and stoic. However, asking questions in order to make sure that this person is a safe space is completely acceptable. If asking if they are in therapy, asking about their theoretical orientation, asking for their political alignment are all things that help you curate a safe space to share, it is more than okay to do so. While this isn’t always necessary, if you feel as though it is important to know, feel free to do so. 


All in all, starting therapy can be scary and intimidating. Your therapist might not be a perfect fit from the start, and that’s ok! Taking some time to remember that you are allowed to assess your therapist, ask questions, and ask for a free consultation might be worth your time and allow you to approach the appointment with more confidence.




The information on this website is not intended to diagnose or treat any medical or psychological condition and is not a substitute for therapy. If you are experiencing an emergency please call/text 988 or go to your nearest emergency room.

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