How to Un-Guilt Our Pleasures

 When thinking about what we enjoy, sometimes we can feel some shame and judgment from others or ourselves based on our preferences.  When it comes to TV and movies sometimes there can be a common understanding that we should feel guilty about certain things that we find pleasurable.  When we think this way, it can make sharing our experiences with others difficult out of fear of being judged. 

Sometimes it's helpful to remember that this idea of a guilty pleasure comes from systems of oppression.  The shows that are often times I identified as being a guilty pleasure are usually content that is geared towards female viewers.  This can become tricky as it adds in a layer of guilt surrounding female lead media as well as media that may be deemed as unintelligent or frivolous.  However, this couldn't be further from the truth, as many of the shows that are deemed as a guilty pleasure focus on dynamics within groups as well as emotional intelligence. 

 The concept of guilty pleasures can also be found in other areas of life.  One of the common areas is food.  When thinking about a chocolate bar or a pizza, usually diet culture has individuals contemplating the guilt that can come with these foods.  It's important to remember that feeling guilty about food is the social construct that is rooted within fat phobia, racism, and classism.  To take it one step further, diet culture has also had a knack for taking common foods that are found as guilty pleasures and reshaping them into guilt- free options. This then introduces a layer of capitalism into the conversation.  When we weaponize individuals' feelings of guilt and shame into ways of marketing,  individuals can feel the need to purchase what they think is the ‘correct’ option.  It's important to remember that food is essential to our day today as well as to enjoy. 

 Another area that often suffers the wrath of the guilty pleasures concept is resting.  Taking time for a nap,  taking time to watch TV,  or even taking time to sit and do nothing are usually considered bad.  However,  rest and relaxation is essential to our health and well-being.  without resting and relaxing, we can overexert ourselves which can lead to other health complications.  Our society and culture focuses on productivity as well as maximizing hours in a day and demonizes rest and moments of stillness due to hustle culture that has been widely accepted.  This can further complicate individuals' relationships with rest and relaxation due to the added guilt from societal pressures to be productive.

 While, the concept of feeling guilty about things that are pleasurable can seem very big and societal. There are subtle changes that we could make in order to shift our relationship with the things that we enjoy.  The first thing that we can do is remember that guilt is something that was imposed versus something that we naturally feel.  There was probably a moment when someone told you that they think that you should feel guilty about what you're consuming.  Remembering that other people's judgments are not your responsibility nor your problem can be a free feeling.

It is also important to remember that finding communities surrounding the things that you enjoy can help feel less isolated and alone within your experience.  Being judgmental of oneself  can be more challenging when we feel alone.  Going to a group meet up or an interest group or an event based on your guilty pleasure might be able to reduce your feelings of shame when it comes to engaging. 

Lastly it's important to remember to not internalize other people's judgments.  if someone does insinuate that you should feel a certain way or they feel a certain way about something that you're enjoying, remembering that that says something about them less about you that they feel comfortable articulating it.   We want to try to remember that not everyone is at the  same place when it comes to debunking  societal structures and that doesn't mean that it's up to you to educate them and make them understand.  articulating your feelings and then a boundary might be the best way to express how you feel and how you would like to be treated moving forward when it comes to talking about your interests.

All in all it's helpful to remember that the concept of feeling guilty about something that is pleasurable is rooted within systems of oppression that aim to capitalize off of our feelings of shame.  Healing from this can look like taking small steps to feel comfortable within what we find pleasurable so that way we can engage with it in a way that alleviates guilt and shame.

The information on this website is not intended to diagnose or treat any medical or psychological condition and is not a substitute for therapy. If you are experiencing an emergency please call/text 988 or go to your nearest emergency room.