How to Support a New Parent’s Mental Health

Having a child is a large adjustment for everyone involved. New parents are navigating adjustments physically, mentally, and emotionally. While some of these are to be expected, there is a natural learning curve that comes with having a child, even if it isn’t your first. 

Included in the newness of being a parent also comes the difficulty in navigating social relationships as well. Being a support of a new parent can be tough as friendships will often need to change shape. We wanted to create a list of how to navigate relationships with loved ones who are parents that will also foster their mental health. 

1. Anticipating the Change

Expecting there to be a shift in the friendship can be helpful. This reduces pressure on both parties to maintain the continued status quo of the friendship that new parents may not have the capacity for. Being prepared for the relationship to ebb and flow will help with de-personalizing the changes and make for a situation that is less rigid and allows both parties to operate in a way that practices acceptance and forgiveness. 

2. Building Routine 

Building a routine check-in time can be marginally helpful with continuing to build a supportive and communicative friendship. This may be something that you discuss with your friend or even something that you set as yourself. Try to remember that this is something to be supportive and non-invasive, all while remembering that support dwindles as time goes on, so it may be helpful to keep this in mind to create longevity and alleviate pressure for continued care. 

3. Finding a Way to Passively Support

Not all support needs to be rooted in communication. Sometimes, the most helpful way to build support is to anticipate the needs that might be going unmet with our loved ones. While it may seem like they are on top of things, there are always areas that might need additional support. Try to think of basic needs. Providing delivery gift cards, credit for a message, or even hiring a cleaning service can be helpful. Additionally, offering to do grocery shopping, supplies pick ups, or even asking if there are any errands they need to complete can give loved ones precious time back and reduce their mental load significantly. 

4. Being Flexible

While there can be some frustrating things that come with adapting to a friend’s life changes, it can be productive to remember that this is temporary and not a sign of the friendship changing indefinitely. Being able to ground in the ability to accept change as a sign that life is growing and not shrinking. 

All in all, it can be a daunting change when we realize that friendships are changing and establishing a new pace with relationships that have felt very stable in the past. This can lead to a feeling of grief at times in what the relationship was and trying to manage the ongoing waves of change. However, being mindful that change is a way to grow can help with continuing to develop care and support for one another. 

The information on this website is not intended to diagnose or treat any medical or psychological condition and is not a substitute for therapy. If you are experiencing an emergency please call/text 988 or go to your nearest emergency room.